HARPER'S BAZAAR AUSTRALIA - ME & MY GURU
For Harper’s Bazaar Australia, I spoke about my relationship with my meditation teacher Gary Gorrow — and how he helped me find mindfulness. Read what I had to say below!
When I was working as a model, I didn’t feel like I had any control over my career. About the time the recession was hitting London, I was booking plenty of good work, but it was mostly endless castings, sitting in rooms with similar-looking girls all waiting for the same call. I was busier than ever when my boyfriend, Nick, and I decided to spend four months in Australia. My agent said it would tank my career, but winter was coming and I had been dreaming of a sun-soaked summer. By the time I got to Sydney, I’d been running on adrenaline for years and years.
While we were house-sitting an apartment that overlooked Bondi Beach, I would see surfers sitting on the sand every morning just staring out at the ocean. Nick told me they were meditating. I had dabbled in meditation for a few years, but for me that involved going over my to-do list or having a snooze — I thought it was for people who had checked out of life and smoked too much weed. But seeing the surfers, something about it intrigued me. Whenever I mentioned meditation to people and asked for advice, I would hear one name: Gary Gorrow.
On my 30th birthday, Nick and I drove out to Avalon, north of Sydney, to meet him. Straight away, there was something about Gary’s laidback nature and the way he spoke about meditation that resonated with me. This wasn’t someone who lived in an ashram, offering to teach me techniques I would struggle to use in my London life. This was a passionate guy with a kind of wild past, who was an entrepreneur and had a family. I knew I wanted to learn from him. Nick wasn’t really on board at first, but I convinced him to join me.
The following week, Gary came to our apartment for four days to teach us Vedic meditation. When I look back on our time together, I recall a mix of kaleidoscopic colour and napping. The part of the experience that is most clear, still, is the crushing fatigue I felt in the days that followed. In the same way you get sick when you go on a restful holiday or feel rubbish after too much sleep, I had been on the go for as long as I could remember, and my body and mind were exhausted. That feeling passed after a few days, and then it was time to take the techniques I had learnt and make space for them in my life.
I still check in with Gary every year on the phone, and I still use the mantra he gave me. He always told me to “flow with grace”, and it’s a motto I’ve been able to call upon in times of need. Simply uttering it calms my nervous system and helps me think more clearly if I’m feeling stressed. But I’m also the first to admit that meditation is hard work. It can bring up feelings you’ve been hiding from, so while there is a lot of bliss, meditation is certainly not a place to hide. And it’s also always a work in progress.
Meditation has become my most powerful coping mechanism. When I set aside 20 minutes at the beginning and end of each day to take that small amount of time for myself, the benefits are unreal: I’m more focused, I have more energy, I work more efficiently. Decisions become so much easier to make. Soon enough, I feel so good that I decide I don’t need the routine; I’m fine on my own. When I inevitably start to lose that edge and feel worn down, I remember Gary’s words and I know what I need to do.
Head to my IGTV to watch #SundaySlow sessions with Gary.